Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Dear VOice in my head,

I hope you're still there. I hope everything is going well for you. I heard you don;t come out often now. I'm sorry if I neglected you, but as you would probably already be aware of--living inside my head, most of my energy and thoughts are spent on a certain person. Are you in fact the one who is responsible for my mild obsessive compulsion and my waste of mind power? Maybe that's why you're keep ing quiet because you, for once, are silenced and don't know what to say. Becuase you have been subdued defeated, and Logic your good friend and room mate have long fled the scene and left a mess for you to clean up.

Maybe it's because you are speechless, and all your flowery word plays and little tricks are no match for this inexplicable lack of control. Or maybe you got lost--knowing how my mind have been drifting lately, maybe you are stuck in some lost zone, having been distracted threading a story and was left behind whne my mind drifted off without you. Maybe you're like a child abandoned at some foresaken train station, waiting for smoeone to come pick you up again. I do miss you sometimes, come and visit me again soon. I miss you flowing out of my head like a tune, like a stream of sand, little grits all glistening and golden after a shower in incense of imagination. Thoughts and words I never knew I had inside me.

I'm sorry if my feelings recently have been moodswing-ish. did it scare you off? Or perhaps you are burnt up as fuel for my desires and longing. Or are you trying to teach me a lesson for having laughed at Shakespeare's Romeo and for thinking that he was a swine and a fool who was a fraud and was not the greatest lover the world has known. Now I understand how he has suffered in his banishment, and why he cried in the Friar's cell. Now I know. Perhaps the trick to making Romeo and Juliet believable is to cast too perfectly ordinary and plain people as romeo and Juliet....Will you come back and explain the world to me again?

Or are you jealous that I spend too much of my waking time thinking of that person? Maybe you're like a possessive sister, or you are trying to get me to quit a bad habit the hard way, but being aloof and hiding away from me is not helping much--just so you know.

Im miss you. Come back soon. My fingers are going cold waiting for you to make them dance on the keyboard again. Just to remind you, I am not a very patient person.

talk to you soon,
Me

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