Shit! Am I obsessing?
Is it freaking unhealthy?
Shit!
Shit
shit
I don't think I should hang on
bang on
getting an answer
perhaps it's just a lesson that
the world
is
an Uncertain place
where you have to live
with questions
msyteries
and the lack of an answer
the worst of all
regrets
.

I don't want these things
but
you don't choose to be born
and you don't choose alot of things.
I did choose you though
and to obsess
about your silence
which infuriates me
but I can't
choose to blame you
(yet)
Soon
I might
but now--just an unhealthy
amount of guessing
and wondering when I'll get too freaking
tired
of waiting.

I like black and white certainty
you win or you lose
a Yes or a No
not this
not
this

Shit
shit
shit
Stop obsessing

Move on
(not yet)
Let it go
(wait)