When she was very young her grandfather told her about the other side of the moon. He would whisper to her when everyone else was too busy socializing to notice a little girl that there was another side to the moon, and if she ever found it she should make her most fervent wish unto it and it would come true. She had asked if he had heard about the cow she learnt about in kindergarden who had jumped over the moon and if the cow got his wish. "Of course." Her grandfather had told her kindly. If the cow was brave enough to jump over the moon, he must have seen the other side of the moon and had his wish. What was his wish? She had asked. "No one but the cow must know. Perhaps it was so that he never would land again." How they had laughed picturing a cow still floating in the sky.
"What does the other side of the moon look like?" she had asked. "No one has seen it. It is invisible to the eye." He had said quite kindly. "But how will I find the other side of the moon?" She then asked. He told her that she would know when she saw it and she would know exactly what to wish for.
When she told her mother this, her mother laughed at her. "You and your grandfather are full of nonsense. Besides, the cow is a she." But soon after hearing about the secret side of the moon, her family moved too far away for her grandfather to whisper any more marvelous secrets. Before she left, she saw her grandfather at the airport, he said little, but looked at her with a twinkle in his eye, as if reminding her of the secret they shared. Looking back, she had wondered if that was perhaps a tear glistening. The next time she saw him was at his funeral. She looked at him with his strange yellow shiny and taunt skin of the dead and the blusher on his face which made him look like a doll. "What are you doing in here?" Her father had been so angry to find her peeking over the open coffin. He angrily reprimanded her mother for letting her see a dead person. Children are not suppose to look at the dead. Besides he was angry that they didn't make it in time to say goodbye to his father. He had gotten the news at the airport that they missed seeing him for the last time.
But life goes on. Nothing stops for those gone. Almost everything is forgotten. They way they talk, the way they walk, the sucesses they achieved, their little triumphs and failings. All except for those stories they have told and the secrets they shared which still resonates in some internal universe like some dark forgotten mystery.
And tonight, she needs that mystery. Needs it as souls needs darkness. She had just gotten a phone call that her husband had been in a motor accident. They did not have the details but his motorbike had crashed into a truck on the highway. They said he died almost instant. But they needed to further investigate the accident for a conclusive explanation. She had felt the kitchen spinning, she lost control of all her senses, she saw a dark shadow loom at the kitchen sink shaped like a grotesque black horn. She needed to wake her daughters up to tell them the news. She needed to walk down the corridor to their room--that haven where they still slumber ignorant of the fact that everything they have ever known was forever changed. But she was too afraid, too afraid to move. All she could muster was to keep breathing.
She stood there standing struggling to breathe. Outside, through the window, she sees a full moon. Bright, luminous and innocent. Its calm pale face, oblivious to the miseries of the world beneath it. Then she saw it, that shadow half, always hidden, seep out from under the light. She made her fervent wish. She wished for the strength to walk the corridor to her daughters' room and that she would have the strength in her legs to keep walking here on and after.
"What does the other side of the moon look like?" she had asked. "No one has seen it. It is invisible to the eye." He had said quite kindly. "But how will I find the other side of the moon?" She then asked. He told her that she would know when she saw it and she would know exactly what to wish for.
When she told her mother this, her mother laughed at her. "You and your grandfather are full of nonsense. Besides, the cow is a she." But soon after hearing about the secret side of the moon, her family moved too far away for her grandfather to whisper any more marvelous secrets. Before she left, she saw her grandfather at the airport, he said little, but looked at her with a twinkle in his eye, as if reminding her of the secret they shared. Looking back, she had wondered if that was perhaps a tear glistening. The next time she saw him was at his funeral. She looked at him with his strange yellow shiny and taunt skin of the dead and the blusher on his face which made him look like a doll. "What are you doing in here?" Her father had been so angry to find her peeking over the open coffin. He angrily reprimanded her mother for letting her see a dead person. Children are not suppose to look at the dead. Besides he was angry that they didn't make it in time to say goodbye to his father. He had gotten the news at the airport that they missed seeing him for the last time.
But life goes on. Nothing stops for those gone. Almost everything is forgotten. They way they talk, the way they walk, the sucesses they achieved, their little triumphs and failings. All except for those stories they have told and the secrets they shared which still resonates in some internal universe like some dark forgotten mystery.
And tonight, she needs that mystery. Needs it as souls needs darkness. She had just gotten a phone call that her husband had been in a motor accident. They did not have the details but his motorbike had crashed into a truck on the highway. They said he died almost instant. But they needed to further investigate the accident for a conclusive explanation. She had felt the kitchen spinning, she lost control of all her senses, she saw a dark shadow loom at the kitchen sink shaped like a grotesque black horn. She needed to wake her daughters up to tell them the news. She needed to walk down the corridor to their room--that haven where they still slumber ignorant of the fact that everything they have ever known was forever changed. But she was too afraid, too afraid to move. All she could muster was to keep breathing.
She stood there standing struggling to breathe. Outside, through the window, she sees a full moon. Bright, luminous and innocent. Its calm pale face, oblivious to the miseries of the world beneath it. Then she saw it, that shadow half, always hidden, seep out from under the light. She made her fervent wish. She wished for the strength to walk the corridor to her daughters' room and that she would have the strength in her legs to keep walking here on and after.
posted by Nippy at 10:51 PM
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