choices in life, not like the road not taken
where road leads on to road
covered by undergrowth
It is flat
sometimes an illusion
freedom to choose
freedom not to choose
courage to go and not look back
to look back with curiousity
and wonder
not with anger nor a sigh
just a big foggy question mark
the future like that past
cannot be found
what is clear is only the present
the very spot of road lighted at our feet
like disney's Alice in wonderland
we constantly move from dot to dot
spot to spot
place to place
moment to moment
trying to make sense of this dream of a life
life of a dream
Not at sea
not that painful freedom of existence
No.
It is a peaceful concrete realization
of the present
just that is certain
nothing else.
So why fear what is ahead, what is lost.
We never lose, nor do we truly gain
but only what is already present
or already in existence
all that has past
is already a dream
and what is not yet present
a mirage
we are, however,
anchored

I leaving.
I can't write.
It hurts too much
to think

An indecision
between longing
stability
and to lose it all
on wings
detached
on far
Distance
and time
An impossibility
to reduce the self
watching it unravel
like a film
illogical flow
A concrete shadow
pulsing
with live
experiences and songs
melted into the very core
of the insubstantial
A whirl of colour
uncaptured sensations
The self
which
defies the four dimensional
Immaterial
yet palpable
shattered glasses
a million pieces
crawling together again and again
smashed
again
Glasses are unbrokened
Trees ungrowned
Rewind and forward
Like a nonsensencial ramble from the mind of an insane that life is just the causes and effects the gravity pulls the apple falls the train moves by the power of the engine that things go forward towards a recognizable ened that rain falls when the clouds become full trying to make sense of all the small parts closing our eyes to the totality because we will become blind go insane we try to see the moments to moments find God's hand in things explain reasons
explain the moments
broken down
A segment
the sum total
unadditionable
indivisible
the divine gapes at its beauty
the comdemned weeps at its unfanthomability
time moves backward
is stataionary
everymomentIam renewed
everymomentIam unborned
like a blankered screen
I-self is erased
I
unbroke silence
disproved my existence
confirmed the moment